My guess is that until a few weeks ago, most of us had never heard of Ashley Madison. Then, it seemed that name was popping out all over the place. First Josh Duggar, and then an infamous list of folks leaked into public view.
Actually, Ashley Madison is not a new site. It’s been around since 2001. The name sounds innocent enough, but even a cursory search brings these self-descriptions:
- * Infidelity site
- * Online personals and dating destination for casual encounters
- * Married dating and extramarital affairs
- * Site slogan: “Life is short. Have an affair.”
Well, no attempt to cover up the real purpose here. Of course, it is not the only website dedicated to helping folks stray from their wedding vows. If you google™ the words, “encourage adultery” over 500,000 entries show up for exploration, including other explicit websites encouraging infidelity.
There seem to be two main thoughts which demonstrate a crazy double standard:
- Cheating on one’s spouse is a rather popular, expected, and even accepted activity.
- If it is so commonly accepted, then why does its public exposure become such a shame-filled event?
Suddenly, morality which is laughed at as a general rule becomes a big deal!
Unfaithfulness, commitment, and pre-marriage celibacy become subjects of great debate, generally painted with broad “impossible and unnecessary to carry out” strokes. But when these things are exposed in the lives of public figures, we are disappointed because we hold them to a higher standard from ourselves.
The Ashley Madison hacking incident has become a mirror exposing what is really going on in hearts and minds of people from all walks of life. It has shown us that we’re all on a level playing field. No one is immune from being tempted to do what we know to be wrong. No one! Folks from every walk of life are worried their name is on the list. Of course, those who are Christians in the public arena are especially up for public ridicule if their names do appear.
There are numerous articles summarizing what the great needs are for a husband or wife. Well, newsflash these are needs for all men and women, married or single! It’s just that we onesomes miss out on the built-in other person to help bring these things to life. Now, I’m also realistic enough to know that many married folk miss out on the fulfillment of these things, too, because we are a broken human race.
Anyway, these articles all seem to cover the same topics.
- Wife: love, affection, protection, security, commitment, appreciation, value, compassion, partnership.
- Husband: respect, admiration, peace, commitment, acceptance/participation, sense of purpose.
While sexual satisfaction is also a part of these needs, the lack of the above is what really sends men and women outside the covenant of marriage to gain a sense of fulfillment and understanding.
Let’s face it. Adultery is not a new thing.
God addressed it through Moses when He gave the Ten Commandments. (Exodus 20:14) We have no record that the people asked Moses, “What is adultery?” They already knew well the temptations to worship false gods, speak loosely of the God Who created them, to not set aside a special time to worship Him and to rest, to murder, steal, lie, covet things not belonging to them, AND to commit adultery.
So, why is it that we are surprised when a website such as Ashley Madison leaps into public view?
Because we think we are better than we are!
We forget that no matter now perfect and good we try to be, we cannot achieve perfection and goodness on our own.
That does not stop us from trying, however.
Oh my! I’ve barely begun to scratch the surface of what I want to say. Keep looking for some sequels! 🙂