“Good” is one of those words we use in a great variety of ways: good day/night, good food, good girl/boy, good job, good vibes, good hair day, good sex . . . well, you get the picture. Most of these give the idea of fulfilling and refreshing times which make you feel – well – good.
I was glancing through the TV schedule this week, and saw these movies: “The Good Sister,” “The Good Mother, ” and “the Good Teacher.” Hmmmmm, let’s see. The “Good Sister” pretended to be a long-lost identical twin who seduced her husband, finally killing him, and returning to her original identity and a new life. The “Good Mother” demonstrated Munchausen Syndrome by making her daughters ill so she could play the part of the perfect caretaker. The “Good Teacher” seduced at least one high school student.
Now, I do understand that the point of these movies was to demonstrate the opposite of “good.” But, too often in conduct these days, the meaning of what is “good” does get mixed into a crazy quilt of “what makes me feel good,.” but which may demonstrate the opposite. Sometimes, having a “good” day may come from having seen someone fail which made us feel superior – or “good.” Eating “good” food may include eating less than healthy stuff which admittedly makes us feel “good,” but which is not so beneficial for the body. Having “good” sex may be in the context of a couple of high school students having an experience for which they are not really prepared. But, if it feels “good” it must be OK. Right?
What is “good” anyway? Webster says: “possessing desirable qualities, promoting success, welfare, or happiness; kind, benevolent, gracious, polite, and friendly; clever, skillful, adequate, sufficient, competent and sound.”
Other definitions: “possessing moral excellence; real and actual; full and complete; honorable; unblemished.”
A man approached Jesus one day saying, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus’ first response was, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good–except God alone.” He didn’t define “good,” nor did he deny that this adjective actually correctly applied to Him. He just went on to demonstrate how the goodness of God might apply to this inquirer by listing some of the 10 Commandments: no adultery, no murder, no stealing, no false testimony, do honor father and mother. The man said he kept all those. Jesus then told him to sell all he had, exposing the man’s heart concerning the commandments He had not mentioned: no coveting, no gods before God, no idols, no taking God’s name in vain, and keeping the Sabbath holy. This very wealthy man went away sad because his real heart attitude and understanding about what is “good” was revealed for all to see. He had not kept all the Commandments after all. (Luke 18:18-23)
Now, of course, the question I often ask myself is “What is good singleness – as opposed to what is good about singleness? I have to admit that while I want my life to reflect the character of God, I do covet once in a while – especially when I go to a wedding and hear the words, “to love and to cherish.” While I do not have any carved idols in my home, there are times when my wants control my thoughts and actions as strongly as if they were idols. Frankly, there are times when I have not viewed singleness as “good” because it has not felt so good!
Well, here’s what I’ve decided. Good singleness is based upon the unwavering belief that God is the ultimate of goodness – far beyond what I can possibly describe. Even when I grieve over losses of what I’ve never had, or ache with the tension of unfulfilled desires, God is still good! It is my assignment from Him to pursue contentment and joy – in the condition I find myself – for the good set before me. Good singleness comes when I celebrate the life He gives to me.
Paige Benton writes in Singled Out by God for Good:
“His goodness is not the effect of his disposition but the essence of his person–not an attitude but an attribute. . . I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me.”